Not Boring At All
by Erin Tesden
Summary: My Ultimate Supreme Lider cant be this cute: Or how Shuichi Saihara learned he was a masochist [Shuichi x Fem!Kokichi] ON HIATUS


**I just finished Danganronpa V3, and I loved it. Kokichi ending up being one of my favorite characters. And then I found all the dynamics and ship-tease between him and Shuichi in his free events really interesting.**

**So I decided to make this story. This being the first of what will be 2-3 chapters in total.**

**It takes place in an AU based on DRV3 initial setting: Basically the battle between Future Foundation and the Remnants of Despair finished and peace reigns once again. All DRV3 characters are attending the new Hope**'**s Peak Academy reformed by Naegi. The difference are:**

**1 - No meteorites or imminent end of the world = No Killing Game.**

**2 - DRV3 characters belong to the same class. Their dynamics and friendships are quite similar to how they were in the game.**

**3 - Kokichi is a girl. Because I can.**

**Hope you like.**

* * *

"...Why?" The Ultimate Detective, Shuichi Saihara, asked himself why he was on such precarious situation, even though he was completely aware of the reason.

Kokichi Oma, the Ultimate Supreme Leader.

It was all Kokichi's fault and no one could make him believe otherwise.

It had all started after Kokichi managed to convince him, Korekiyo and Miu to work together on the mandatory project for Golden Week festival at Hope's Peak Academy.

He wasn't even quite sure why he accepted such a thing in the first place... Maybe Miu was right and he was simply a masochist. That would explain many things...

Anyway, for his own stupidity and reasons that he didn't understand nor wanted to think too much about them neither, he ended up accepting Kokichi's proposal and her project: A haunted house.

He had almost found everything quite ridiculous at first; that it was such a simple and typical proposal coming from girl that could be as twisted as Kokichi.

At least until Kokichi presented the project planning to the student council and Shuichi finally understood that with Kokichi in command nothing could be so simple.

As leader and creative of the project, Kokichi would have the task of planning all the haunted house traps and scares, as well as their distribution throughout the house.

Korekiyo would put his knowledge of classic Japanese folklore to take care of the aesthetic part of the project and give it more authenticity.

Miu for her part would be responsible for preparing any mechanical device they might need for the traps, in addition of a few animatronics for the monsters and ghosts.

And finally, it would be up to him to support Kokichi with his general knowledge about the psychology of human behavior under situations of stress and fear, to help her optimize the haunted house atmosphere.

... Or so it was on paper.

In reality, Shuichi basically was relegated to being the one to make almost all the heavy work of the project, transporting materials and equipment to and fro, and doing all Kokichi, Korekiyo and Miu's errands.

So he end up in such a situation: Waiting to be served by the cashier at the convenience store, carrying in his hands a bag full of snacks for Kokichi, makeup for Korekiyo (Or was it for his sister?), and a tampons box for Miu; Shuichi could only ask himself which god or demon he had insulted in his previous life to deserve such punishment.

But the worst was yet to come.

* * *

Shuichi must have seen it coming the same moment that Kokichi had stopped bossing him around and allowed him to rest just after the haunted house was almost finished and the only apparent task left was for Korekiyo to decorate everything.

It must have been more than obvious once Kokichi began to actively devote herself to keep him away from the haunted house while Korekiyo worked.

"Huh, who would say so, Shuichi looks ANNOYINGLY handsome after sweating from working as a slave." Shuichi should have to start running away the very moment Kokichi started making comments like that.

But he didn't, and shortly after that Korekiyo finished his part.

It was then that Shuichi's real work began: He would be the first one to make the tour through the _'Monochromatic __Mansion of Despair and Death__'_.

* * *

With the whole affair of Miu being a pervert, while Korekiyo... Eh, was a pervert too, and Kokichi...

With the three of them being perverts, and some of the most quirky people he knew, Shuichi tended to forget that they were true geniuses.

The current moment was an immense reminder of it.

Well, while he knew the finished haunted house would surely be immersive enough, Shuichi never expected to actually find it scary.

A psycho with a huge knife approaching could scare him, someone with a machine gun aiming at him would too, but fearing supernatural creatures like ghosts, demons or yokais moving through the darkness?

Absolutely not. Without any offense, but he wasn't Kaito.

Or at least he believed that until then.

It was a_'__pleasant__'_surprise to understand that more than your typical second-rated haunted house, Kokichi's project could very well have been a direct portal to hell itself, considering how bizarrely real and terrifying was everything.

So Shuichi ran.

He ran as his life depended on it, because as absurd as it was, he couldn't help but subconsciously feel that it was the case. Every creature that he walked across and every trap he activated by his path, even knowing previously that they were there, as well as the grimly morbid general atmosphere inside the mansion, making him feel as if he was losing a year of his life for every second that he spended there.

And then when he finally saw the warm light of the exit just a few meters from him towards the end of the hall, the floor opened just below his feet and he fell into the darkness.

Fortunately he managed to land sitting on something soft. The lights igniting themselves suddenly before he could panic.

The room he was in was one that he didn't knew about its existence, but it was similar to the one on a horror movie that Kokichi had forced him to watch a few days ago.

Its appearance was like that of a kind of industrial bathroom; white ceramic stained with traces of dirt on the floor and walls; a few rusty pipes peeking in some places; two cubicles, and a set of grimy urinals, toilets, and sinks; some kind of janitor closet located on the opposite side of a door that was marked as the exit. And finally, lying in a corner of the room was a skeleton -just props, thanks God- chained to a pipe by the foot and wearing clothes that could only be Shuichi's school uniform; a second door located next to the skeleton.

Yes. This was Kokichi's work from start to finish. The message _"CONGRATULATIONS FOR YOUR FIRST TIME -making the tour- , MR. ULTIMATE DETECTIVE!" _written with a purple crayon in one of the mirrors confirmed it.

So Shuichi remained there. Sitting on the mattress strategically placed under the roof trapdoor. Waiting for the speed of his heartbeat and the desire to strangle Kokichi to decline.

Then he got up and after a sigh walked towards the exit.

The door didn't open when he turned the knob.

* * *

This had to be a joke.

…No. It was definitely a joke.

Shuichi wasn't able to open the exit door, neither normally nor with brute force. It was just closed, and the same happened with the other one and the closet.

Shuichi shouted a few times for help but there was no answer. So it immediately became obvious to him what Kokichi intended by putting him in such a situation, and he had no choice but to get down to work.

Starting by registering the clothes of his skeletal copy he was able to find a zip bag with a pair of sandwiches and a thermos with chocolate.

Shuichi would have considered it a nice detail if it weren't Kokichi.

Being Kokichi, he could only imagine her laughing condescendingly and saying something around the lines of _"This is a gift from me, baby-faced detective! Just don't eat everything at once because you will probably stay a long while there. Neehehehe!"_

Exchanging for a moment his gloves with those of the skeleton, Shuichi continued to register ALL the room without exceptions.

At the end of his investigation he managed to find a small key at one of the toilets, as it happened on the film he watched; he using the key to open the closet in which, to his surprise, he discovered an electronic safe and a note.

The writing in it belonged to Kokichi, as expected.

_"The Queen begins her journey. An adventure with a thousand paths and possibilities intersecting and branching out. But no matter what decision she makes the end will always be the same. What does awaits for the Queen at the end of her road?"_

Shuichi observed the note with a somber expression for a minute and after sighing he knelt in front of the safe. It had an electronic panel with numbers and letters.

Shuichi then introduced the word _'D__eath__' _and pressed enter.

His answer was incorrect.

Shuichi blinked confused and retyped it again, thinking maybe he did it wrong the first time, but it truly wasn't the right answer.

This had to be a joke. And this time the image of Kokichi laughing appeared in his mind _"How naive! A REAL QUEEN NEVER DIES, SHUICHI!"_

Even so, Shuichi tried again.

_'Dead' __. Wrong answer._

_'Final'. __Wrong answer._

_'End'. __Wrong answer._

_'Hell'. __R wrong answer._

_'Heaven'. __Wrong answer._

_'Nothing'. __Wrong answer._

_'Kokichi'. __Wrong answer._

He inserted about two dozens of answers that his logic told him made sense -and a few that didn't- and yet the safe remained closed.

So this was Kokichi's victory... Once again.

Shuichi took out his cell phone, and tried to call the girl to ask her to get him out of there.

But his cellphone had no signal at all. And he couldn't help but feel that it was also Kokichi's fault.

By that time, it had passed something more than half an hour since he end up locked in there and Shuichi had already searched every tiny corner of the room where something could be somewhat hidden, breaking mirrors and removing loose pieces of ceramic in the process; even having turned off the light in search of some kind of clue left in luminescent paint as it happened on the film.

But everything was futile. There were no more clues.

Shuichi began to remember each of the times that Kokichi had joked about going to kill him. Maybe she had finally decided to do it.

With nothing else to do, Shuichi spent a few more minutes trying to ask for help or force the doors open, but it was useless.

It was then that the roof trapdoor suddenly opened and a girl with black hair with purple highlights gathered in pigtails, and white clothes with a chess-scarf, leaned out from above.

"Look who I found. The grand prize!" She exclaimed happily, as if she hadn't left him in the middle of an immensely disturbing-looking closed room for almost an hour already. "And I thought Shuichi had decided to go on his own and leave me by my own... Idiot me. So as an apology, from now on Shuichi will have to take care of me until the day of my death and beyond!" She smiled in such an innocent way that Shuichi found it difficult to look back.

What she had said was a complete nonsense and he wasn't exactly in the mood for her jokes. So how could she manage to irritate him in a moment and make him blush the next one?

It was unfair that she was so cute but so good lying and manipulating others at the same time... Ugh. It seems that Miu was absolutely right.

"J-Just stop with that, Kokichi! I-I'm having trouble down here, you know...?" Shuichi let his frustration give his best... Bad idea considering that he was talking with Kokichi.

"Huh! H-How mean! And I w-who just wanted to help you!" The girl stepped back; a hurted expression on her face and tears in her eyes. And yet, an instant later all of that disappeared just leaving behind absolute disinterest. "Meh. Good luck getting out of there on your own, then." And as if nothing she began to walk away from the trapdoor.

"E-Eh! Wait!"

"IT WAS A LIE!" She exclaimed after turning on her steps, a smile back on her face. "Neehehehe. As if I was going to let my beloved subordinate No° 10001 have such a boring death as dying locked in a bathroom... Being fired in a space rocket that suffers a malfunction and crashes! Jumping from a plane and that the parachute doesn't open! Receiving a bullet aimed at me to stop my assassination attempt! THATS HOW SHUICHI SHOULD DIE!"

"S-So I'm supposed to d-die no matter what?!"

"Neehehe. Just don't worry, Shuichi, you still have a couple of months left before you become obsolete."

"N-NOT EVEN A YEAR?! OBSOLETE?! A-AREN'T YOU CONFUSING ME WITH KEEBO OR SOMETHING?!"

"What a robophobic observation, Shuichi. I'm disappointed of you." She said as if she was enduring her laughter and then walked a little forward, Shuichi looking down so as to not end up looking under her skirt. Then she simply sat on the edge of the trapdoor letting her legs hang. "Now, let's stop wasting my precious seconds of existence and let's get to work." She said, as if she wasn't the responsible of wasting time in the first place.

"W-Whatever you say, Kokichi." He felt so tired after all that exchange.

"Okay, first." She paused, false disinterest in her voice. "The reason I didn't come before, if you were wondering, is because I assumed you would manage on your own. Getting out of there isn't that hard, do you know, Shuichi? Even a complete idiot like Gonta or Tenko could do it."

"H-Huh." There it was again. She had that facility to irritate or annoy anyone so easily... "Please explain yourself."

"Hmn." Kokichi inclined her head to examine the room in greater detail for a few seconds. "There. The safe in the closet. Inside are the keys to the exit and the 'safe zone'." Shuichi raised an eyebrow when hearing about the _'__safe zone__'_; he had assumed that the other room was just another part of the puzzle to escape from there, but it sounded like something else.

"Okay. I already expected that to be the case. But I just don't understand the safe riddle..." He said, and then it was Kokichi's turn to raise an eyebrow. "It doesn't matter how I analyze the riddle you left, the answer should be _'death'... _But it didn't work on the safe; It didn't open. So I tried using similar words, and even tried to convert the letters to numbers but-."

"1234." Kokichi said with an expression of extremely disappointment.

"...Ah...?"

"...1-2-3-4... That's the safe password."

"B-BUT THEN WHAT ABOUT THE RIDDLE?!"

"Absolutely fake, Neehehe! It wasn't even a true riddle but a poem, you know? I was feeling extremely bored and then I said to myself, _'__Come on, Kokichi! We should write a morbid poem that looks like a riddle and leave it above the safe so that Shuichi reads it and assumes the safe password it__'__s something really complex, when in fact it is something ridiculously obvious__'_. Pretty neat, right? I'm surprised you fall for such an obvious joke." Shuichi didn't even give her an answer to that. "Anyway, just go! Open it now!" Kokichi began to clap as if she intended to give him moral support.

Shuichi sighed, and inserted the password into the electronic panel. This time the safe opened without problems, and Shuichi took the two keys inside.

Each one was secured to a key ring with a small plaque that indicated which door they opened.

Moving immediately to the exit, he inserted the corresponding key into the lock and turned it.

The door didn't open.

"...Hmn, is something wrong?" Shuichi began counting to ten trying to calm his nerves, while ignoring the voice of the girl who was the source of his problems. Then, for the sake of his own mental health, he inserted the 'safe zone' key into the exit door, assuming that Kokichi had surely switched them around as a joke.

But the door didn't open neither.

Pulling his hair, Shuichi started counting prime numbers until he felt calm again.

"T-The door doesn't open, Kokichi. N-None of the keys work."

"Well, try these. You shouldn't lose your hope, Shuichi!" Kokichi dropped a key ring through the trapdoor. "Your hope belongs to me too! Only I can or destroy it!"

Shuichi just looked at the key ring in silence. There were about 30 different keys held there.

"K-Kokichi. I'm really tired of this. P-Please just get me out of here..."

The smile disappeared from the girl's face.

"Okay. You don't have to be such a killjoy and get all depressive on me." Kokichi stood up once more.

Finally. Everything was going to end soon.

Considering the situation, it would be just enough for Kokichi to look for something to get him out of there and someone to help her. He had to admit that he didn't weigh that much, so it would be easy.

Unfortunately, he forgot once again this was Kokichi trying to _help _him.

Because the girl simply jumped through the trapdoor to land on the bed as he had previously done.

Shuichi just watch her bounce in the bed a few times in silence.

"Wow, that was fun!" She said completely carefree

"...W-Why?" His eyes fixed on her, completely unable to believe that all this was really happening. "T-There was no need to get down here... You could have taken me out from above…! Y-You just needed to look for something like a rope and someone to help you!"

"And to sweat for all the effort? EW!" Shuichi just stared at her in awe. "...Okay, seriously. There was no one to help me; Kiyo went to visit her sister/girlfriend/whatever at the hospital she is in, and I definitely couldn't do it alone."

"Y-You could have looked for someone else. Anyone." He said, futilely trying to make her come to her senses.

All this was too bizarre to be real. It must be a nightmare, right?

"And unveiling the mysteries and horrors of the _' __Monochromatic Mansion of Despair and Death__' _ahead of time to a random person…? NEVER!"

OK. This was the end.

He was going to die there and his only company was going to be Kokichi Oma.

"Okay, just keep calm! Don't forget who I am!" She walked to the door and pulled out a small gray object.

With his mind feeling slightly dazed, Shuichi needed a moment to notice what it was. Then his expression filled with hope again.

It was a pick.

Of course! For someone like Kokichi that was all necessary to open any door.

For her it would only be a matter of seconds... Right?

The answer was NO.

"Uh." Shuichi started to frown as the wait got longer and longer. "E-Eh. I start to believe that the door is stuck or something… That would explain why the key didn't open It in the first place."

Shuichi's expression became desolate as the minutes passed, until he heard a sound of something breaking

"Damn." Kokichi dropped the broken pick on the ground, and took out another from her clothes. Which it broke a moment later. "What the hell-?"

"W-Wait." Shuichi walked forward and snatched the new pick from Kokichi hands. "...Let me try this time."

"...Do you even know how to use one of those? It's not as easy as I usually make it looks like." Shuichi barely knew the basics of how to use a pick, but didn't respond and just tried himself.

It had to be Kokichi's fault! EVERYTHING!

She must be failing to open the door on purpose to play a joke or torture him even more. Those were the kind of things Kokichi enjoyed doing!

It made sense. And yet, he failed too, and the pick broke in less than a minute.

"Okay. That was the last one I had." The girl said; irritation in her voice. If it was addressed to him or the door, Shuichi had no idea.

His gaze slowly turned to the skeleton wearing his clothes and remained there for a while... It was curious. The first time he saw It, It had given him some relief from how obviously false and even comical it looked. But now... Now he began to feel that that would be his and Kokichi destiny in a couple of days... They were going to stay there forever...

"Hey, Shuichi." Kokichi said, suddenly looking at him seriously. It was that unusual expression that almost never crossed her face. "Just don't go scratching your neck until death or crashing my head against a wall yet, okay...? It's not like we're really going to die here or something..."

Uh? Did she now have supernatural powers to read his mind too?

Or perhaps it was obvious to anyone that being locked down there was really beginning to affect him ... The shadows in the room were beginning to seem as if they were demons ready to jump on him at the slightest carelessness. While all the dirt in the room, made his mind begin to imagine the infinitely horrible things that could have happened there...

"Okay, Shuichi..." She said once again. "You might not notice it, but you just said all that aloud... You're completely freaking out, and It's definitely not fun anymore... Move." Without saying more she began to gently push him towards the 'safe zone' door.

Curious. Shuichi had almost forgotten that it was there.

"W-What are you-? "

"Kiyo and Miu know we're here..." She smiled, as if trying to make him feel better. Although it isn't as if Shuichi was fully aware about it. At that point his eyesight was even slightly blurred... "They know about this room. And they will surely seek help to get us out of here when they notice we are not coming back, do you understand?" He nodded after a moment. So there was still hope ... Well. Kokichi said before he shouldn't lose his hope, right? "It's like 3 PM. So we just have to wait a few more hours until the night, or until tomorrow at the most, and we'll finally be out. Okay?"

"I-I doubt I'm going to be able to bear it for that much time."

"You're not going to have to." She snatched the key from the 'safe zone' and opened the door with total ease. Then Kokichi basically pulled him inside as if he were a ragdoll and then closed the door behind her.

"God, you're really a mess right now. It seems that Kiyo and I really overdid it a bit too much with the mansion atmosphere..." An expression of annoyance on Kokichi's face, although his voice sounded strangely blank.

Meanwhile, Shuichi's attention was focused on the new room he was in. His sight was still blurred but he could feel the difference between inside the 'safe zone' and the previous room.

The replica of the industrial bathroom had some kind of oppressive and dark aura, as if you were going to go crazy just for being there (which seemed to be the case), while the 'safe zone'... Well, it just made him feel that way: Safe.

Besides, Shuichi couldn't help feeling that the room was familiar.

"Hey, are you getting better now?" Kokichi asked.

He nodded and after a few seconds he couldn't help saying his thoughts aloud again.

"...I-I thought you really were going to let me die out there." The girl frowned and looked away. Suddenly he felt a pressure on his hand and looked down; Kokichi was taking his hand on her own.

"Obviously not. That would be SO boring…! I am waiting for the perfect moment to stab you in the back when you least expect it… Probably in about 60 years when you end up as just an old geezer."

"...D-Do you really hate me enough to do that?" Kokichi turned her face with an expression of disbelief.

"God, you're really depressing when suffering from a pseudo-mental breakdown... To begin with, Shuichi, no. I don't hate you. I don't hate anyone at all." That sounded hard to believe. "Although it sounds ridiculous, it's the truth." She smiled. "I don't even hate that waste-of-space of Miu or our friendly murderous resident, Maki, but I'm not going to lie: I dislike them and quite a bit." That already sounded more credible. "You see, for me, the closest thing to genuinely hating someone is to consider them boring. And you, Shuichi, are everything but that." Her face suddenly became expressionless. "You are the most interesting person I know."

Shuichi felt something warm in his chest, although his dazed mind could not fully understand the implicit meaning behind Kokichi's words .

"I-I appreciate it."

"You should!" The girl smiled again and pulled him to a kind of sofa that was nearby. "Now is the time to recharge your batteries." She helped him sit down

"E-Eh. I'm not a robot to do something like that." He replied without thinking too much.

"AH! Your robophobia makes me sick, Shuichi!" She said laughing, and before he could react, Kokichi laid him down on the couch placing his head on her lap. "Don't try to protest about this or I will enter your room while you are sleeping and I will erase all the porn from your computer."

The blush on Shuichi's cheeks intensified, but he said nothing.

Kokichi's lap was too comfortable to protest. So he ended up falling asleep shortly after.

* * *

**OK. That was all for the first chapter.**

**In case someone is confused about Shuichi's behavior towards the end of the chapter; It happens that thanks to the joint work of Kiyo and Kokichi, the haunted house ended up being realistic enough to have a negative psychological impact on the mind of any visitor who stays inside for too long (It would be almost similar to expostion to Junko's Despair Video but less intense and temporal).**

**And no, that wasn**'**t what Kokichi expected to happen. The house simply exceeded her expectations. It would almost be more Kiyo's fault than Kokichi's in any case, for how creepy he decored it.**

**Leave your reviews and follow if you like.**


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